How Homesteading Has Made Me A Better Wife
Homesteader Hubby and I have been together for 24 of the most amazing, trying, chaotic, crazy and difficult years of our lives. I know that kind of sounds like a sappy, soap opera on TV, but trust me, it’s anything but.
Our lives are absolutely real folks.
We have hurdles we jump over, hoops we jump through every day, and there are usually bumps in the road that we have to go over. Okay, they aren’t bumps, they are more like huge craters that we tend to fall face first into. But…we help each other out of those craters. We dust each other off and we put one foot in front of the other.
It’s not easy friends, and there are days that I feel like packing it up and going on vacation to some exotic island without him. Hey, I’m just being real with y’all and I’m absolutely positive that Homesteader feels the same way.
Long days, not enough sleep, hard work and major adjustments have all been testing our marriage these last few months. We are working on a project together that is a lot larger and harder than either of us have ever done before. We are both tired and cranky, and lately, it’s been showing.
See, we have these really big plans for our homestead, we agree (mostly) about these plans and how we want it all to look when we sit back in our 80’s and appreciate our hard work. The problem lies in how we both see those plans playing out. We butt heads because we disagree on how to actually get over that hurdle we are faced with and that’s how we end up falling into the huge crater.
This past month has been an example of that.
We attempted to build our hens a chicken tractor. Free ranging is just not for us and this was the next best option we could come up with. Well, it didn’t really go as planned. I was frustrated, Homesteader was frustrated and the kids were frustrated. I eventually went inside and worked on making homemade bread with the girls. Homesteader and the boys spent the rest of the day building the girls their coop, not the kick-butt chicken tractor that we had planned on. I admit it, I was disappointed and I didn’t act much like a good, supportive, wife. Instead, I pouted, and wasn’t shy about showing my disappointment.
Well, the Lord, He has this magnificent way of convicting our hearts when we need it the most, and He did just that the next morning. I wake up every day a few hours before Homesteader and the kiddos. It gives me the opportunity to be alone in quiet prayer, read my Bible and go over my daily to do list.
This particular morning, I opened my email to find this verse sitting in my inbox waiting for me.
“With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”
I had gotten into the habit of not practicing any of those virtues and the Lord put that verse right in front of my eyes.
Pretty much every project Homesteader and I have worked on over the past two months has played out just like the chicken tractor project. Most of the time, it was because I had a vision of how I wanted something done and Hubby either couldn’t see my vision, Hubby had a different vision or we weren’t communicating.
I’m not all that great about asking for forgiveness, but I knew I needed to. That day, while Homesteader was off at his interview for his new job, I made him creamed cucumbers, a favorite snack of his that he’d been asking me to make for quite a while. When Homesteader got home and announced he had gotten the job, his day got even better because he knew that me making him his favorite snack was my way of asking for forgiveness. We discussed how the hens being in the chicken coop wasn’t the end of the world. We decided that we would use the posts and fencing we had to build them a huge run and we’d save our money to build the turkeys and broilers (that are hopefully coming this summer) an awesome, kick-butt chicken tractor.
Marriage is filled with bumps, curves, hurdles, hoops and craters. After 24 years, I’m still learning it is how we treat one another through it all that matters. I’m sure that the next 50 years will be filled with obstacles in our way, but thanks to God convicting my heart, and a forgiving husband, I’ll be working with Homesteader over those obstacles instead of being one of those obstacles.